My Wedding Guest Dress Commandments
When in doubt, wear something blue as a wedding guest
As wedding season approaches, you may find yourself with a mountain of invitations and no idea what to wear.
Dress codes have become somewhat nonsensical (I just saw a TikTok trying to make sense of “business casual” for a wedding, for goodness’ sake), and with social media, there’s a lot of pressure to look Pinterest-worthy, even as a regular old guest. Even I, the Fashion Barbie, have fretted over what to wear to weddings, but after a few years deep in the wedding guest trenches (all riding solo, mind you), I’ve come up with a few Wedding Dress Commandments to keep myself sane. You’re welcome to borrow them!
1) Decode The Dress Code
Of course, we must begin with the dress code listed on the wedding invitation or site. Back in the day, wedding guest dress codes used to fall into a few simple categories: casual, cocktail attire, semi-formal, formal, or black tie, for the most popular options. Nowadays, with the rise of aesthetic-minded weddings and the hopes of wedding content going viral, some brides and grooms have gone a bit mad with power, requesting only certain colors be worn, or specific styles of dress (I’ve recently seen “Cowboy Formal” and “Upstage The Bride” as some creative concepts).
Even if a dress code is unusual or power-trippy, I do believe that it’s best to adhere to the guidelines and give the bride and groom their day. You don’t want to be the one who is being difficult by not following the theme, or showing up way underdressed because you don’t understand what Black Tie means. The good thing is that there are plenty of resources to help you decode even the most unusual of dress codes. Vogue and Brides have good breakdowns on the most common dress codes that guests come across, and I love Tori’s TikToks that break down all things dress code with great examples, too.
2) Err On The Side Of Caution
This may be a hot take, but a wedding is not the time to bust out your craziest, sexiest dress of all time. I think you can still look beautiful without being risqué, and remember, there are usually parents and grandparents here. This doesn’t mean you have to show up in a turtleneck maxi dress; in fact, I usually wear a dress with a slit (easier for dancing at the reception!), but I think if you’re debating if something is too sexy or too short to wear to a wedding, it might be best to save it for another occasion. This also goes for color; if you have to ask if something is too white, or if it will photograph white, just pick something else to wear.
I typically will wear a blue midi or maxi dress, low heels (but I’m also tall and have a foot injury that keeps me from wearing heels over 3 inches, so there’s that), and simple accessories. A wedding look should be classic and respectful, and you can still look fabulous without being the topic of discussion at the post-wedding brunch the next morning.
3) You Do NOT Need A New Dress For Each Wedding
This is also a reminder I write to myself, but it’s true! You actually don’t need to go out and buy a new dress for each and every wedding. If you’re like me and in the midst of that era where all your high school and college friends are starting to settle down and get married, it does start to add up, and there’s no reason to overburden yourself with a bunch of new dresses if you don’t have to. If men can wear the same suit to each wedding and just switch out the tie (if that), then I think we need to let go of the fear of outfit repeating.
The truth is, most people won’t remember if you rewore a dress to another wedding, especially if it’s a different group of people. If you’ve found a dress that works for you, makes you feel fabulous, and fits the dress code of multiple events, wear it to your heart’s content!
All this being said, there’s nothing wrong with picking out a new dress each time if you’d like to and have the means to; I just want to remind you that it’s not a requirement.
4) When In Doubt, Go Blue
Can you sense that I have a favorite color to wear to weddings? But seriously, I believe everyone should embrace blue as their go-to color for wedding guest dresses. There’s a flattering shade for everyone, and most shades, save for the very lightest, won’t photograph as white, and I think it’s a color that works for each season. Light blues for summer, navy or dark blue for winter, you’re good!
5) Invest In Versatile Accessories
I have a nude clutch, nude heels, and beige pashmina that I wear to pretty much every wedding I attend. It keeps it easy and uncomplicated. For jewelry, depending on whether you’re a gold or silver girly, pair your dress with jewelry that accentuates the fit (ex. a dangling pendant with a lower neckline, or a simple high chain with a higher neckline).
When it comes down to it, I have found it best to find an outfit formula like the blue dress + neutral accessories combination to take the stress out of dressing. Weddings are super fun, but they can be overwhelming, so my approach is to make it as uncomplicated as possible so I can relax and enjoy the time with family and friends. The dressing up is fun, but it’s secondary to the celebration.